To become better communicators, we have to be better listeners. It is hard to listen to part of what we are told without overlaying our own assumptions, and prematurely jumping to our own conclusions. Instead, we have to listen for the conclusions of the people talking. Learning to be better listeners is critical, because unless we convince others that we really care about what they have to say (proven only by listening), we won't get beyond the superficial ideas and language, down to the underlying values and perspectives.

People intentionally speaking out for change can begin with listening critically to themselves, and each other, examining informal as well as public speech for the story behind the words. Advocates can simply ask each other, "Who do we mean by we? What story does that tell? Who else is in the story? Who ought to be?" A fundamental question for people working for change always is, "What are the shared values and assumptions of the people who will stand to benefit?"

Understanding this allows communicators to recognize and build from existing assumptions, in each and in every communication. This kind of listening, to frame the story before trying to tell it, applies at every stage of communication. Advocates must incorporate the broader perspective into the way they think about and understand their issue – and attract new allies who see themselves as part of the story.